Living my life as a self-proclaimed perfectionist isn't always fun. I am very type A: I try to be organized, and I like things "just so." Contrary to what some may think, I do not "have it all together" and my perfectionism results in indecisiveness, self-annoyance, and dissatisfaction.
For example, it is hard to me to commit to color!!! No, not on fingernail polish...that can be changed easily (although that decision often takes quite a bit of consideration). I'm talking about paint colors, comforters, cars, shoes! Most anything that is either costly or that is not easily changed. A lot of times I end up choosing neutral colors because it is "safe." Here is an instance of my most recent incident: I am painting a set of cabinets that are extra storage in my sun room. My landlord was going to trash them but I decided to keep them. How hard could it be to add a little color to some brown, outdated cabinets that were trash-bound in the first place? Very hard apparently. I started with a cute blue color. Didn't like it so I added black. Didn't like that either so I tried another combination of paint colors (I was using leftovers). Now the cabinets are sitting disassembled in my now-trashed sunroom (the contents of the cabinets had to go somewhere!!!) The project is at a standstill because I can't decide what to do! I wanted to go bold, something outside my comfort zone, but failed! I am indecisive because I fear disliking a choice after committing to it!
Something else that I face: I go to Lowes, pick out a great paint color, spend hours painting and LOVE it! Later at someone else's house, I see a different shade of the same color and wish I had chosen that instead! Dissatisfaction you see!
A lot of times I want to change something or take on an improvement project. When I can't decide what colors to use or how to improve whatever, I end up doing NOTHING at all!!! Very productive, I know. Either that, or a simple project turns into a nightmare (my dining room table) because every detail must be perfect before I am somewhat happy with the finished product.
I went shoe shopping and bought brown flats because I couldn't commit to the red ones even though I loved them. Less will go with red shoes, right? I couldn't branch out even though I wanted to.
As I sit here, I look around me and see shades of brown, white, black and olive green. I couldn't get past the neutrals. My walls are empty for the most part because I can't decide what, if anything, to hang up. Also, what if I hang a picture but decide later I don't like it there? A lot of work goes into spackling, sanding and re-painting that tiny nail hole.
I bet my logic is annoying you right now!!! Irrational? You bet! It annoys me too! Why can't I just make a decision and like it too?
I can't end this post with such pessimism. I have many decisions that I am happy about: I still love my amazing husband and still like the looks of him :), I like my neutral wall color, I love my profession, and I still like one of the pairs of shoes I bought after Christmas. My perfectionism isn't always a negative thing: I think I'm good at my job because of it. I stay pretty organized as a result. I don't spend a ton of money because I can never decide what to buy.
What character traits do you have that annoy you?
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